For a Good Cause...
11.13am
I'm taking this opportunity [i.e. the fact that I have a really long break. next class is at 2.30] to write down something in here. Haha. It's kinda hard 'cause my brains functioning really slow, at least slower than usual. I think it's because of all the water I consumed just so I can use the bottles to put latex paint in them. There's nothing relatively interesting about having to consume a liter of water. Except maybe the fact that I really, really want to pee right now. Haha.
There's nothing much going on in my life that I'd want to share. Nothing Interesting... I am so bored. I should wait a few seconds to be inspired by a new topic. Haha.
Oh, right, I deleted my Friendster Blog. Why? 'Cause my darling sister created a Friendster account for my parents and there's this HUGE chance that they might see it. Kinda dangerous seeing as that blog contained rants about them and stuff... like me cutting myself, which they probably don't know about. Whether or not they know does not matter because I don't want to explain to them why. I have no plans of going through the Spanish Inquisition.
Most people don't know why I cut myself. Most of them think that I lead my fairy tale life complete with a castle and gold and all those other stuff. I know that they think that what I..
9.24pm
Where was i? Haha. Couldn't continue typing because the guy at my side at the internet caf kept reading what I wrote. His friendster was probably that boring. Lol.
so well anyhoo, to continue... lemme copy+paste the last paragraph..
Most people don't know why I cut myself. Most of them think that I lead my fairy tale life complete with a castle and gold and all those other stuff. I know that they think that what I do is pretty much senseless 'cause I've got the perfect life, but in reality, I don't.
I act all happy and stuff because I don't like explaining why I'm sad. Haven't you noticed that when someone acts happy, you never ask why? When you're crying, people hover over you and expect for an explanation. I'm not fond of explaining why my life is a mess. It just is.
I started cutting myself 'cause I needed a problem I created. I needed a problem I could control. It seems stupid, I know. I used to think slitting wrists and suicide and all those stuff were gibberish. That's probably 'cause I lived a life in fear of God then. Haha.
The moment I felt He abandoned me, I needed to vent. I needed to take control of something.
I don't know. Maybe He never did. It seems like He did, though. Oh well.
Kinda weird how I never pray anymore. Not the usual saying of the Our Father, Hail Mary, et al. kind of way. I still talk to Him. You know, the usual "Where are You?" and the "I really need You right now." kind of stuff.
[For the record, this is why I don't need a boyfriend. I've got so much drama between me and my God. Haha]
So well, anyway, that doesn't explain much, does it? Haha.
Oh, right, funny thing happened this p.m.
for explanation of this picture, please refer to my latest Myspace blog which was a survey.. I think it was entitled "Yet another survey." I hope he never sees this. Hahahaha
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