Important ANNOUNCEMENT. Not really.
DramaTweets
For a Good Cause...
Thine Archive:
How does one know that they've hit rock bottom?
Is it when all hope is lost?
Is it when nothing really matters anymore?
Is it when you're contemplating suicide on a bright sunny day?
Is it when you get up in the morning wondering why you did and wishing you never even woke up in the first place?
Is it when you put your hopes and dreams in a box because you're sure that that "someday this will all come true" would never come?
If those were the bases [yes, it's the plural of "basis." I know what I'm doing], then I know that at this moment I've hit rock bottom.
You can't blame me, the girl with the eternally messed up karma, for all the things that happen in my life.
I never ASKED that I get accepted to U.P. Heck, I never even answered the UPCAT that well. I'm probably the only person in history to answer all the questions in a right-minus-wrong exam. I never cared if I got in or not. U.P. was never in my plans. Not that I had a sturdy plan.
Back then, I knew I wanted to be a lawyer. I was so sure of it. I had my entire life plotted out. I even had my college life all plotted out.
Needless to say, I lost the drive to go after those dreams. I've numbed myself from feeling happy, contented, or whatever good feeling there is in the world. All I ever expect these days are feelings of contempt, sadness to the point of depression, or whatever horrible feeling there is in the world. This is my only means of survival. The only means I know of, anyway.
Kind of a defensive mechanism. If I continue being all hearts-and-flowers, I wouldn't expect that in two hours tops, I'd be miserable. At least when I'm all moody-and-broody, depressing things wouldn't depress me that much... Depressing things would be the norm... I wouldn't have to feel all the drama of false hopes anymore. All I need to focus on is the fact that I will be miserable and I'd have to find some way to ease the pain.
It gets tiring, you know, trying to be the person the people around you expect you to be.
I AM NO GENIUS like you guys think me to be. I try to be one, I try so hard to be perfect but all odds are always against me. Do you know how draining that is?
I guess you don't.
So for another time around, I will act as if I'm the perfect daughter you guys have. Besides, you guys will never realize how much of a mistake I am. I am a failure, I hope you guys would see that.
Is it when you find yourself in a darkened restroom telling God, "I just want to be happy. Is that really too much to ask?"
If those were the bases [yes, it's the plural of "basis." I know what I'm doing], then I know that at this moment I've hit rock bottom.
You can't blame me, the girl with the eternally messed up karma, for all the things that happen in my life.
I never ASKED that I get accepted to U.P. Heck, I never even answered the UPCAT that well. I'm probably the only person in history to answer all the questions in a right-minus-wrong exam. I never cared if I got in or not. U.P. was never in my plans. Not that I had a sturdy plan.
Back then, I knew I wanted to be a lawyer. I was so sure of it. I had my entire life plotted out. I even had my college life all plotted out.
Needless to say, I lost the drive to go after those dreams. I've numbed myself from feeling happy, contented, or whatever good feeling there is in the world. All I ever expect these days are feelings of contempt, sadness to the point of depression, or whatever horrible feeling there is in the world. This is my only means of survival. The only means I know of, anyway.
Kind of a defensive mechanism. If I continue being all hearts-and-flowers, I wouldn't expect that in two hours tops, I'd be miserable. At least when I'm all moody-and-broody, depressing things wouldn't depress me that much... Depressing things would be the norm... I wouldn't have to feel all the drama of false hopes anymore. All I need to focus on is the fact that I will be miserable and I'd have to find some way to ease the pain.
It gets tiring, you know, trying to be the person the people around you expect you to be.
I AM NO GENIUS like you guys think me to be. I try to be one, I try so hard to be perfect but all odds are always against me. Do you know how draining that is?
I guess you don't.
So for another time around, I will act as if I'm the perfect daughter you guys have. Besides, you guys will never realize how much of a mistake I am. I am a failure, I hope you guys would see that.
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A Poem
By Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
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